by Jacob Ninan
Many people get offended with God because He did not answer their prayers, even though, according to them, they prayed long and with faith. But is it right to expect that God will answer every prayer we make to Him, and is it right to blame Him if He does not?
Some preachers try to get around the issue of unanswered prayer saying that God's answer to our prayer can be yes, not or wait. This may be a philosophical way of explaining things, but it does not satisfy an individual who asks God for something and does not get it. Normally, we say that a prayer has been answered only when we get what we asked for!
A lot of misunderstanding on this matter among Christians is from a superficial reading of some words of Jesus. "Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it" (Jn.14:13,14). There are two conditions attached to this promise, one that our prayer should be in the name of Jesus and the second is that the glory of Jesus should be the ultimate result of our prayer! Of course, praying in the name of Jesus is not the same as attaching the phrase 'in the name of Jesus' at the end of our prayers. This is not a magic formula that has a power of its own to make God answer our prayer. If we pray in Jesus' name, it has to be in line with everything about, what He has has revealed as His will, His character and the authority He has given us. We cannot expect answers to our prayers if they do not fit these conditions. Also, our prayers must be aimed at glorifying our Father by manifesting His power or by producing fruit in our lives (Jn.15:8). These fruit can be the fruit of the Holy Spirit working in us (Gal.5:22.23). Of course, we can ask for our earthly needs, but our prayer should all fall under this overall framework.
It is not right to get upset with God for not answering our prayers because we must believe that He has good reasons for it. He cannot be expected to give us everything that we ask for. Many things there may be many things that we have done wrong or are doing wrong that hinder the answer. If we fool around during our school year and then we pray at the end that we should pass the examination, isn't that unreasonable? If we pray for our team to win, and the other team is praying too, who should God listen to? If we don't get an answer to our prayer, won't it be good for us to sit and examine ourselves and ask God what the reason could have been?
Even our earthly fathers don't give us everything that we ask for! They know that some things we ask for are not good for us or that they might hurt us. But children who don't know much about such things cry or throw tantrums to get what they want, and sometimes come to the conclusion that their father doesn't like them! How much wiser our Heavenly Father is, and He knows what is best for us. His plans for us are always for our good and not for calamity (Jer.29:11). We can never plan for anything better. We must realise that we don't know everything and our Father does. So, after we tell Him whatever we think we want, isn't it better for us to leave the decision to Him, instead of pestering Him?
Sometimes it may be that we are praying for someone, such as wife praying for the salvation of her husband or a mother for her son. Why is it that such prayers are not getting answered even though they are according to the will of God? We must remember that when God created us, He gave us a free will. He will not force us to do anything against our will. He will arrange circumstances, bring people across someone's path, and place ideas into his mind, etc. But He will wait for the person himself to choose Him. We must remember that these prayers which are according to the will of God reach Him, and that He is working on them. However, we must not get discouraged if the answer takes long, or even if the person himself chooses not to change. This result may be painful to us, but we must appreciate the wisdom of God.
When we pray according to the will of God, then only can we have an assurance that it has been registered with God and that He will do whatever He thinks is best (1Jn.5:14,15). From our side we must make sure that our prayer has no sinful desire attached to it because then we can be sure He won't even listen to it (Psa.66:18). Another thing we must remember that we should not pester God to give us what we ask. There was one instance when the people of Israel who were on their way from Egypt to the Promised Land. They started complaining bitterly about the food they missed from Egypt, even though God was supplying their needs supernaturally. So God gave them meat, except that He sent a plague among them and many died (Num.11:19,20). Neither will we be happpy if we pester God for something and He finally gives it to us (Psa.106:15).
A framework God has given us under which we can ask Him for our needs is that we should primarily look for God's name to be glorfied, His kingdom (where we submit to Him as our King) to be established and His will to be done (Matt.6:9,10).
One mistake many Christians are making these days is to forget their relationship with God as their Creator and Master and to imagine that they have the ability to control God. Some think that because they have faith when they ask God for something. No, God is supremely sovereign and none of us can force Him to do anything or demand that He should do something for us. A prayer is, after all, only a request we can make before God (Php.4:6). Sometimes people use some techniques to force God. They get someone to 'agree' with them in their prayer, spend a whole night in prayer, fast, give a seed money, make a vow, etc., and imagine that now God will be compelled to do what they want. This is a total role reversal where people are trying to tell God what to do. The right thing is to go before God in all humility and request Him to listen to our prayer and then decide what He thinks is best—not my will but Yours, Lord.
Another way to pray is to talk to God and discuss things with Him, as to our Father. We cannot usually hear His voice as an audible sound even though He may do that in rare cases. But He speaks to us by giving us ideas or impressions in our heart, sometimes through a word in the Bible or a message, sometimes through other people coming to us, sometimes through changing the circumstances, etc. Sometimes the answer may come later. It is in this way that we can develop a fellowship and an intimate relationship with God.