One day my wife said to me, "Oh, you are sitting here with the dog!" I replied, "No, I am just sitting here, not with the dog!" Then I realised that she was only making small talk with me and not expecting me to analyse her sentence for accuracy. But my goal was to be accurate in what I said rather than to connect with her! Then I also remembered someone telling me years ago that he detected an air of an expert in me when I talked to other people. When I looked at myself at that time I couldn't see any of that in me because, I thought, I was only trying to help people by giving suggestions. But now I can see how he could have been right.
How we see ourselves is not always the way others see us. Isn't it good then to listen to their feedback? The Bible reports about us human beings that because of our fallen condition, it is easy to imagine that we are right when there is much to be corrected (Pr.21:2). If we want to be a blessing to others in every place, is it sufficient to be right in our own eyes but also that the others should also be comfortable with us? Psychology calls this emotional intelligence which people like me can lack who have focussed on being logically right. But perhaps this is not about me but many of you can also relate to this?
Isn't it possible that we can spend our whole lifetime without being even a bit aware about what people think about us? Of course, we need to avoid the other extreme of worrying about what they think and drive ourselves into a bondage (Pr.29:25). Freedom comes here when we realise that what really matters is what God thinks about us. But at the same time, God many times tries to give us understanding through the comments other people make about us. If we throw that all out, we will remain blind for a long time! We will also miss what we could have become if we had been open to suggestions and even corrections.
On the other side, I have also noticed that sometimes when I tried to give some helpful suggestions to people they seemed to think that I was finding fault with them! That was not my intention at all but sincerely to help them! Now let's ask ourselves what our response generally is when someone tells us what to do. Do we think they are judging us, being critical towards us, etc.? The point is, even if they are judgmental or critical, can we not take it in a good way and try to learn something from them? Some wise man has pointed out that sometimes our friends think they shouldn't hurt us and keep quiet when they see something wrong with us, but many times our 'enemies' who want to hurt us actually tell the truth (or some part of the truth) to us!
We know it doesn't come to us easily to receive correction. One thing that has helped me in this area is to recognise that the whole point of salvation is to correct what is wrong with me and make me like Jesus. The first step in that salvation is for me to admit where I am wrong and then I can go on to asking God for help.