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Once in a while we come across people who are worked up in their mind about what they feel was some great injustice done to them years ago. They are still negotiating with the others who were involved, trying to point out where those people were wrong, and how they were right. Since time has flown, most people don't even remember the details, except these who have been chewing the cud over the years and claim to remember every detail. They aren't giving up, till they prove that the others were wrong. Imagine a few things that were not done 'properly' at a wedding, and decades later, the couple is still fighting about how those things should have been done! This makes them lose their sleep, and it also affects ongoing relationships, their performance at work, etc.

It is totally unrealistic if we imagine that all wrong things can be set right here on earth. We ought to do whatever we can to set them right (Ro.12:18). But obviously, there are many things that are outside our domain; we can't change other people, and we can't always make them do what we want. This is the reason God tells us to forgive those who have done wrong to us and to bear with the weaknesses of others (Ep.4:32;Ro.15:1). Our forgiving others does not erase their wrongs before God, and they have to deal with God themselves. But when we forgive others, it frees us from anger, bitterness, vengeance, etc. Can we see now that if we are upset with others, it hurts us by taking away our peace and joy, and filling us instead with bitterness and thoughts of revenge? For all we know, those who have hurt us are going around happily, perhaps not even aware that they have done anything wrong!

This is the devil's trick. He tempts someone to do wrong to us, and when that person does it, the devil keeps us bound to our bitterness. The devil got two birds with one stone! We foolishly imagine that it was not we who did something wrong but what the other person did was so unjust, and that this gives us a valid reason to be upset with them! Valid or not, it certainly robs us of our joy and it ruins our present and our future too!

Forgiving others is to let go! In the parable of the king and two servants in Mt.18, the first servant who was forgiven much by the king, could not forgive another servant. He seized that servant and began to choke him. Isn't that what we do figuratively when we refuse to forgive another person and let go?

We receive forgiveness from God for our sins, not because we deserve it, but because God shows us grace – unmerited favour. If we refuse to forgive someone because we think he doesn't deserve it, aren't we showing double standards? That is why Jesus warns that we risk losing our forgiveness too (Mt.18:35).

We would like everyone to be perfect in their dealings with us, but we are not perfect ourselves! All of us do many things wrong. That is why we cannot afford to be unmerciful to the others and impatient with their weaknesses.

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