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If a teenager shows a rebellious streak, what can parents do? Some parents try to become stricter with him, withdrawing some privileges, and some others try to give in to his demands out of fear. Both are attempts to deal with what they see as his problem. What they many times fail to see is their own part in the problem, how they neglected correcting him or had been unduly strict when he was small (Pr.29:15). When they see it as his problem, they try to take him for counselling. Another way many Christians try to deal with the situation is to go to God.

Some spend a lot of time praying for their son that somehow God should miraculously change his mind and suddenly he would become good. Some fast. Some make vows to God promising Him something sacrificial if only He would resolve the situation. This is a religious way of seeking a solution.

Of course, God is the one we should immediately turn to when there are problems we cannot handle, whether it is a rebellious teenager or anything else. But what goes on many times when people think they are turning to God is that they are seeking a miraculous intervention from Him without seeking His counsel. We ourselves may be a part of the problem, and our own past mistakes may have contributed to it if not caused it directly. Perhaps there are things we need to change first from our side before God can work His part.

Using again the above example, perhaps the parents should recognise that their teenager is no longer a child whom they can command around, but a budding adult they have to learn to deal with increasingly as with an equal. It is foolish to ignore this reality and blindly quote that children should obey their parents! So, there may be a lot the parents have to repent about, and a lot they have to change now. If they avoid these altogether and expect God or counsellors to change their son, they are going to find it does not work.

Seeking a religious solution gives us a feeling that we are acknowledging God, bringing Him into our situation and admitting our helplessness apart from Him, which are all good things normally. These are common lessons we hear in the church. But if we are also avoiding in the process our own responsibility in the matter, how we may have contributed to it and how we may need to repent and change now, that would be like 'passing the buck' and holding God responsible. Let us be honest and realise that God is not the one who has caused our mess, but everybody else who is involved. Isn't what we need to do first is to recognise whatever part we have had in the situation, humble ourselves before God (and others) and ask God for help for us to change? Then we can also ask for help with the rest of the situation.

One part of our sinfulness is to try our best to avoid looking at our mistakes, faults, sins. We even blame God when things go wrong, and of course, all the others around us. That is not going to bring us salvation.

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