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When someone hurts us, some of us who have a strong sense of justice instinctively feel a desire to retaliate. We think that what has been done to us is not right or fair, and we want to correct the other person, teach him a lesson or at least let him know that he did wrong. We may be right to think that we have been treated wrongly, and it may also be that what the other person needs is to learn a lesson so that he will not repeat his mistake.

But then we bring grace into the picture. That is what we want when we have done wrong. What we deserve is punishment, but still we go to God and ask for forgiveness. We know that God is in a position to legitimately do that, because our sins have been already punished through Jesus' death. God does not have to do anything unjust or unrighteous to forgive us because such requirements of of His nature have been addressed on our behalf by Jesus. So, what we receive from God is totally from an unmerited favour He shows to us.

Now we come back to our subject about others hurting us. When we feel this sense of justice rising up within us and we feel it would be totally unrighteous if we let him go, what we need to remember is our own status as recipients of undeserved mercy from God. Can we then afford to assume a position of authority over the others as executors of justice? No! We lost that place when we asked God for forgiveness on the basis of grace. This is why, if we struggle to forgive others, God reminds us to think about how we received His mercy (Co.3:13).

But if we allow our sense of justice to overpower us and we refuse to forgive someone, Jesus warns us that God may be forced to take back the forgiveness He once gave us. He said that while teaching about prayer in the sermon on the mount, as well as through the parable of the king and two servants. In the parable we see the case of a servant who was forgiven by the king, going ahead and refusing to forgive another servant. This made the king take back the forgiveness for the first servant which he had given earlier, and put him in prison. The final warning that Jesus gives us there is that the Father will respond in the same way to us if we refuse to forgive anyone (Mt.18).

When it comes to forgiving others, it becomes a test for us to see how much we have actually seen and experienced grace. Have we seen ourselves as those who totally deserve punishment, and have we seen God as One who graciously suffered in our place and gave us forgiveness freely? The first truth helps to so humble ourselves that we see that we have no right at all to judge others. The second truth causes us to worship God and surrender ourselves to Him in gratitude. These truths together prompt us to become faithful to God in every aspect of our life. It becomes possible for us to freely forgive others, and it become easier with time.

Our forgiving someone is personally good for us, but he remains subject to God and human authorities.

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