I am convinced that no two Christians can agree on every aspect of doctrine! That is because we human beings are all so different in many different ways, and our understanding is influenced by many factors. It is important that we agree on the major aspects of Bible teaching about God, Christ and God's plan of salvation for us. Even here, there is a growth that we go through, and the experienced Christian is expected to have greater clarity than a newborn child of God. We can see the apostles also going through this growth, even as they started teaching the church from the beginning with the understanding they had. It is also unavoidable that as we grow we come to see that some of our earlier ideas were wrong. A willingness to always be learning is the mark of an honest and humble Christian.
Since there will be differences of understanding concerning many peripheral issues, our aim must be to preserve our unity in 'spirit' with one another even when we cannot agree on everything (Ep.4:2,3). This comes from recognising that none of us knows it all, and also that the things that we differ on are minor or peripheral. Some of us can be 'passionate' about even the small things, and this can create some animosity towards those who disagree with us. But then we have to be able to distinguish between what are key issues and others that are peripheral. God's intention is that all of us, starting with these differences in understanding, may grow together towards a unity of 'the faith' (v.13). 'The faith' here refers to the different facets of our faith that form our unique Christian worldview. As we grow, we are expected to come into deeper agreement about these aspects too.
Do we need to always confront someone who has a different understanding on peripheral issues? Apollos was eloquent in sharing the gospel of Christ with the limited knowledge he had, but he needed an Aquila and Priscilla to tune him up on details (Ac.18:26). But if we do not keep the focus on important issues but we get taken up with minor aspects, we may end up creating confusion and stirring up strife. Once we understand something is a minor issue, we can mostly ignore it. If we think that both of us have enough unity of understanding between us, we can consider discussing it without getting worked up on it! Can we think of a modified version of the Serenity Prayer like this? "Lord, give me the courage to help my brother get a better understanding on important doctrines, the patience to bear with him as he holds different views on peripheral issues, and give me the discernment to know the difference."
When it comes to understanding doctrine, one requirement for us to get to the truth is to have a willingness to obey what we learn (Jn.7:17). Many times the reason why people cannot 'see' the truth is that their interest in that truth is merely academic or casual. They are not seeking it as if they are looking for hidden treasure (Pr.2:4,5).
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